The End of Kouji Minamoto
by Shadow Avenger
Summary: After a death in the family, Kouji feels that he no longer has the will to live. Can his friends come to his aid before it's too late??? My first fic!!!
1. Default Chapter

Ok boys and girls, this is my first fic. So if you could find it in your hearts…please go easy on me…I'm only 17! Anyway I don't own Digimon though if I did…well I'm not telling you how things would be different.  
  
The End of Kouji Minamoto   
  
Chapter One  
  
Goodbye  
  
Dark clouds filled the sky on the early Wednesday afternoon. Kouji had always felt that rain during a funeral was just one of those things you see in a movie. But this was no movie; it was real life and for Kouji wished that his would just end right there in that cemetery. But then he thought of Takuya, Junpei, Izumi and Tomoki. They had already lost a good friend…how would they handle the sudden suicide of another?  
  
Put it out of your mind, Kouji thought. But he couldn't…he just couldn't.   
  
He looked to his left and saw Junpei with his arm over a crying Izumi's shoulder. Her eyes had gone all puffy but she still looked beautiful in her black funeral dress. Kouji looked back to the casket that was slowly being lowered six feet under a thick layer of grass and dirt.  
  
Kouji looked over to his right and saw Tomoki with his head down at the grass. He could see the few tears that managed to escape to the grass below. He had made a wonderful speech at the service about the now dearly departed. The rain now started to come down like a waterfall but everyone who was there stood their ground. Takuya was sad but looked brave as ever. His head turned to his left at Kouji. He wanted to say something to Kouji to reassure him that things would be OK. That he would make it through his life just fine. But he couldn't.   
  
Takuya felt a lump in his throat and the tears form in the back of his eyes. He turned away from Kouji and cried.  
  
Whywhywhywhywhywhy, Takuya thought. This isn't fair…poor Kouji  
  
The casket vanished from site.  
  
It's over, thought Kouji, He's gone…and I'll never see him again  
  
The past few days had been hard on Kouji. He hadn't eaten, hadn't slept and hadn't done anything.  
  
"Goodbye," someone from the crowd called out sadly and then started to cry. The crowd of on lookers in the cemetery looked now at Kouji.  
  
What do I say to them?  
  
He cleared his throat.  
  
"I want to thank you," he said sadly, "For coming out here today in such foul weather to help me grieve. On behalf of my family…thank you."  
  
The onlookers now turned away and made their ways back to their cars. Izumi made her way to Kouji and hugged him.  
  
"Are you gonna be all right," she asked him breaking the hug.  
  
Kouji nodded.  
  
"Y-yea…just give me a minute, OK?"  
  
Junpei nodded.  
  
"Take all the time you need, buddy. We'll be in my car."   
  
They all left him standing in front of a large hole in the ground and a tombstone.  
  
Kouji moved along side the hole where the casket now lay and went over to the tombstone. He put his hand on it and up until now hadn't even read what was on it.  
  
KOUICHI KIMURA  
  
BROTHER, SON AND HERO  
  
Kouji smiled and then started to sob. He felt a gentle hand go on his back. He turned around and saw Takuya standing behind him.  
  
"Come on," he whispered.  
  
Kouji stood up and hugged Takuya. He wept on his best friend's shoulder but Takuya didn't mind at all.  
  
"It's OK," he kept whispering into Kouji's ear. Kouji broke the hug and they walked towards Junpei's black BMW.  
  
(Well…what do you think? I know what you're thinking: How could you kill Kouichi? How did he die? I'm sorry that I did that but this is the only way I could do it. Anyway, please read and review.) 


	2. Letting Go

OK, I'm back and I've got chapter two just waiting to be read…I know that you may still be mad at me for killing Kouichi but don't worry. I'm going to explain how he died in this chapter. Now then, on with the show  
  
By the way...i don't own Digimon so I'll save you the time and money now in telling you not to sue me.  
  
Chapter Two: Letting Go  
  
Two days later, Kouji stood in the backyard to his mother's house. She had loved having Kouji over after her other son had been killed. All she did was just sit with a friend while trying to understand how her life had been drastically changed.  
  
Kouji stood in front of a tree with a large shovel in his hand. For the past five minutes he had been unearthing the ground so that he would have a large enough hole for his purposes.   
  
An old cigar box lay by his feet and was just waiting to get into that hole. Kouji's dog, Hunter (Authors Note: Hey! I don't know the name of the dog or its gender for that matter) had followed his master along to his mothers house to watch his master bury a box that had no meaning to him. The dog gave a bark and got a warm smile from Kouji. But inside the boy's eyes were sadness.   
  
Kouji picked up the cigar box and opened it up. Inside was Kouichi's D-Tector. Kouji sighed and did his best not to bring up tears. He closed the lid on the box and gently put it in the hole. He stood up and brought the shovel back onto the pile of dirt he had dug up before. The ground gently fell on the box and after a few minutes, it was gone.  
  
"You buried his D-Tector?" cried Takuya over the phone. (Authors Note: Yea, I saw the final episode and saw how their D-Tectors turned back into cell phones but I figured that I would bring them back. But they can't spirit or beast spirit evolve…kinda like a souvenir).  
  
Kouji sighed. He knew that telling Takuya would just get him on his case and that was the last thing he wanted after he had laid his brother to rest.   
  
"Yea, I did," he answered plainly over the phone.  
  
"Oh God, Kouji, why would you do that? Do you think that that's what he would have wanted?" Ever since they had returned from the Digital World, Takuya seemed to have changed for the better. He seemed to have become wiser.   
  
"It's not about what he would have wanted, Takuya! It was the only way I could let him go. I just need to forget about him. I need to forget about Kouichi now and for the rest of my life." He was sitting in the bedroom of his late brother. It was where he would stay whenever he came to visit his mother and brother.   
  
"Kouji, if you do that, you'll be forgetting a lot of important things that have happened in your life," Takuya warned. "Ask yourself: What would Kouichi do?"  
  
"Go to hell," cried Kouji. "Your brother's still alive so when he dies, you just call me and tell me if you feel the same!"   
  
Kouji slammed the phone down and hoped that the dial tone would sting Takuya's ear.  
  
It was now an hour later and Kouji still hadn't left the room. He was staring at the desk that was in the room. A large leather chair sat in front of the desk. Kouichi had never allowed his brother to sit in it because he said that if he did it would ruin his way of thinking. Kouichi had called that chair his 'thinking chair'. Kouji wasn't sure if he would sell it or not.   
  
"What would you do?" he asked the chair.  
  
He stood up and sat on the bed when there was a knock at the door. He hoped that it wouldn't be his mother because right now he didn't feel like seeing her cry and he certainly didn't want to cry either. There was another knock.  
  
"Come in," invited Kouji. He stood up from the bed and glared at the door as the doorknob turned to the right. With a gentle effort it was pushed open and revealed Izumi Orimoto. She had grown into an attractive young lady and it was no secret that she and Kouichi were attracted to one another. She walked into the room and smiled at Kouji as she closed the door.  
  
"May I speak with you, Kouji?" she asked in a small calm voice.  
  
Kouji was in no mood to talk and was just about to show her to the door.  
  
"Actually, Izumi, I—"   
  
But she had already begun to speak.  
  
"You know," she began moving towards the thinking chair, "Kouichi and I would talk to each other whenever one of us needed to." She sat down in the chair much to Kouji's surprise. She gave a shrug. "I guess I'm just used to having someone's ear."  
  
Kouji gave a small smile but it vanished as quickly as it came up.  
  
"What's on your mind?"  
  
"I think that right now," she said eyeing Kouji, "There are two Kouji's inside of you. One wants to move on but the other doesn't want to let go."  
  
Kouji snorted.  
  
"Sigmund Freud, you're not."  
  
She took no offence to what he said.  
  
"Do you remember when you first met Kouichi?"  
  
Kouji gave a small nod.  
  
"I had just purified him and he was unconscious. Takuya, Bokomon and Neemon were with me and-,"  
  
"No, I mean when you first met Kouichi and you know when I mean."  
  
Kouji didn't want to remember his brother as a digimon who wanted to kill them all.  
  
"Yea I do."  
  
Izumi nodded.  
  
"At that point in our lives, we knew each other. We liked each other, we trusted each other," her smile faded. "But when we met Duskmon we didn't think there was anyone who could save us."  
  
Kouji clearly remembered their first engagement in battle with the legendary warrior of darkness.  
  
"I wasn't sure anyone could," he said plainly.  
  
The smile returned to the blonde haired girl.  
  
"When a man is convinced that he's going to die tomorrow, he'll probably find a way to make it happen. The only one who can make you one again, is you, Kouji."  
  
His eyes got thinner. He knew that Izumi wasn't a psychologist and that she had no intention to be one.  
  
"I'll do the best I can."  
  
Izumi nodded but Kouji knew that she had more to say.  
  
"You're gonna have to do something you don't want: You'll have to let go of Kouichi."  
  
Kouji could feel his blood boil and he did his best to control his temper.  
  
"Maybe you haven't heard," he growled as he approached the chair. "I buried his D-Tector today."  
  
Izumi shook her head.  
  
"You buried the legendary warrior of darkness. Not Kouichi." She stood up from the chair. In her mind she couldn't believe she was doing this. Her crush had been killed by gang members because he wouldn't give them his wallet. None of them had ever been caught though tips were still coming in. "Kouichi is still with us, in this room," she said in her same tone, "In this room. If he had died it would have been easier; but he didn't."  
  
Her throat was now becoming dry but she had to get her point through.  
  
"They took him from us," she explained, "A piece at a time."  
  
She gave a warm smile.  
  
"Did he ever tell you why we were so close?"  
  
Kouji gave a smile of interest.  
  
"No, why?"  
  
"Oh," said Izumi in almost a whisper. "Well, our relationship, it was beyond friendship. Beyond family. And I will let him go. And you must do the same…there can only be one you."  
  
"It's not the same," explained Kouji in a sad voice. "This was his life, he basically wrote a book on how to live a good life just by living it."  
  
Izumi raised an eyebrow.  
  
"If the book is what Kouichi lived by…then it's time to throw that book away." Her voice now became serious yet still calm. "You must let him go, Minamoto."   
  
Kouji was surprised. She had never called him or any of the others by their last names ever.  
  
"It's the only way to win," explained Izumi, "The only way to save him." She pointed to the desk. "And that is now your chair, Kouji."  
  
She turned to the door and exited without saying goodbye. Kouji slowly moved towards the chair and sat down. It felt just right under him. He stayed there until he worked up the courage to call Takuya back and apologize. Instead he got Shinya who told him that Takuya had left because he was in a bad mood and wanted to be alone.  
  
Kouji rushed out of the room and hollered to his mother that he was going out.  
  
(Well, that's it! I was kinda surprised that I wrote all that…anyway please R&R!)  
  
Shadow Avenger 


	3. The End of Myself'

Well here it is: chapter three. I've been kinda busy so I haven't really had time to work on it though all the stuff was in my head which made me working on it somewhat.  
  
Anyway…here's chapter 3.  
  
By the way…I don't own digimon…and that sucks cause the shows being replaced by The Parkers on UPN…may be the biggest mistake in TV history…I'll still have the memories.  
  
Chapter Three: 'The End of Myself'  
  
Kouji had no luck finding Takuya that night. A week passed by and there was not a word. Not a phone call, email, nothing. He often called over at Takuya's and tried to see if he was over there but always he got the same answer.  
  
"He's not here"  
  
"He went out for a while. Can I take a message?"  
  
Kouji knew that if he left a message, it would be one that would never get answered.  
  
He would go to bed every night in the early morning of the next day. (AN: If that confuses you it means that he went to bed at one or two in the morning)  
  
He was now at his father's house and that was only about two miles away from Takuya's house. Every night he just lay awake thinking about how he should go and reconcile with his friend but something would stop him where he was.   
  
Tonight he lay atop the covers so that he wouldn't fall asleep. He lay in his red plaid boxers and just thought about what his brother. In two months it was going to be their birthdays. It was strange…he was finally getting used to sharing a birthday and now he had to get used to just sharing it with no one.  
  
"My god, Kouichi," he said hoarsely. "I just go you back after twelve years and now you're gone again."  
  
He wanted to cry…but he didn't want to look weak, even though his father or step-mom wouldn't hear him because the walls surrounding their bedrooms were two inches thick.  
  
'When a man is convinced he's going to die tomorrow, he'll probably find a way to make it happen.' Those words kept shouting into his mind. He knew that he wasn't going to die tomorrow. Was Izumi trying to tell him something?  
  
There was a creak at the door and Hunter came in sniffing away. He gave a smile whine as if he was sensing his master's agony. On his four paws he quietly streaked to his master's knee and began to lick the kneecap.   
  
Kouji sat up on the bed and smiled. Did his faithful dog understand him while Takuya was having difficulty?  
  
"He does understand me," Kouji said, not knowing if he was talking about the dog or not.  
  
He knew that he needed Kouichi to survive. His life was a living cesspool of crap when Kouichi wasn't there. He was just a person who wanted to be alone all the time and didn't care about anything. He knew that there was one way to stop his torment. On cats feet he carefully snuck across the room to a drawer. He pulled out some sweat pants and a hooded sweatshirt. Under the bed were his shoes. It was warm enough outside that he didn't need his shoes and it wouldn't bother him if he got a blister or not. He headed towards the window. Opening it with great subtlety he stuck his head out. It was a bit cool out but summer would be coming in a few weeks. Just as he was about to hop out he heard a whine from his dog. Kouji smiled at the canine.   
  
"Sorry," he said softly to the dog, "but this is something I have to do alone. You may sleep on the bed if you like."  
  
The dog gave a little 'huff' and walked away from the window.  
  
Takuya Kanbara liked to sleep in the nude whenever he couldn't sleep. Tonight was one of those nights. He tossed and turned as he let his naked body relax against the sheets and mattress. He kept one arm over the covers and the other one by his leg. He then entered a state of unconscious where he was dreaming while he was awake. He felt asleep but he knew he was awake. In his 'dream' he was in a hot tub with Izumi. He had always had a little crush on her and who could say that they didn't. He could feel his erection coming on when suddenly he was brought out of it by a tap at his window. He didn't want to go see if it was some peeping Tom or not so he just decided to go back to sleep. Then his window slid open.   
  
Takuya kept his eyes closed and began to breathe naturally so that he might be able to get his erection down. The last thing he wanted to be known as was some teenager who got killed while playing with himself.  
  
The intruder quietly trotted over towards Takuya's bed.   
  
Now, thought Takuya. He jumped out of bed. He was able to jump the intruder from the front and knock him down to the floor. Takuya prayed that the intruder-whoever it was-wouldn't be able to see his Johnson. When he heard the shoulders make contact with the ground, Takuya grabbed a pillow and covered his crotch with it as he headed towards the doorway and flipped on the lights.  
  
"Kouji?" asked Takuya as the intruder took off his hood to reveal a long ponytail of black hair.   
  
Kouji groaned and then stared at Takuya.  
  
"Jeez," he said. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you wanted to screw right now."  
  
Takuya grew angry but knew that he probably did look like that. "There's a flashlight under the bed," he told Kouji.   
  
The warrior of light nodded. Takuya turned around to shut off the light realizing too late that the pillow didn't cover the rear.  
  
"Oooo, that's pretty," teased Kouji.  
  
"Shut up," said Takuya as he flipped off the lights. "If you want to look, please do. I have no problem being the star of your fantasies."  
  
Kouji laughed. "You wish."  
  
"Why are you here at one thirty in the morning, Kouji?" Takuya asked as soon as the lights were out and a flashlight shone on his face. He hoped that Kouji wasn't checking him out-or trying to- while he was in the dark.   
  
The light moved from Takuya's face to Kouji's.   
  
"I want to apologize," he said. "It was wrong of me to yell at you like that…you were tying to help and I didn't give a crap about what you had to say because all I was doing was feeling sorry for myself. But now I realize that I shouldn't forget about Kouichi because he wouldn't want that and I know he wouldn't do what I'm doing if I had died." The light now shone down on the floor. "Takuya," he said in a grim voice. "I can't live without Kouichi…I want you to help me commit suicide."  
  
Takuya remained calm. This had to be one of those dreams that were within a dream. He kicked the bedpost. It wasn't.  
  
"I'm serious," said Kouji who felt that Takuya was having doubts.  
  
"W-wh-why?" asked Takuya.  
  
Kouji sighed. "I feel as if I've come to the end of myself."  
  
Takuya didn't think that much of a good answer. "And the end of Kouji Minamoto?" he asked angrily. "God dammit, Kouji, you're not thinking clearly. We lost a hell of good friend and we're not ready to lose another. Christ, how selfish can you be?"  
  
"It's the way it has to be," Kouji replied in the same grim tone.  
  
Takuya walked over to him, grabbed the flashlight and shone it on Kouji's face. He didn't even recoil.  
  
"God dammit," cursed Takuya as he slapped Kouji across the face. "Don't you realize that for every action there is an opposite reaction?!"  
  
"I don't think that's how it—"  
  
"Shut up," interrupted the nude teen. "Dammit! That's it," he said walking to the window and shutting it. He locked it. "You're staying here tonight. If I wake up and find you dead, I'll bring you back to life and then I'm gonna kill you."  
  
Kouji smiled. He stripped to his boxers and lay down.  
  
"Does that mean I get your bed?"  
  
Takuya grinned. "Not unless you want to sleep next to a naked guy."  
  
"Same here," replied Kouji as he tossed the red plaid boxers into Takuya's face.  
  
The legendary warrior of flame groaned in disgust as he flung the boxes to the ground. He went to his closet and pulled out a green sleeping bag that was only used if he ever went camping (which he never did) or had a friend sleep over. He grabbed a pillow from the living room and did his best to go to sleep. But he wasn't sure if it would be safe or not if Kouji tried to kill himself. But before he could dwell on it any longer, he fell asleep. 


End file.
